Considering the last post I feel obligated to report that last night I laughed so hard I cried with Ben ....over a rather taboo topic. Lets just say it had something to do with bagels and bagettes. Today was also a very good dinner with Trisha, Lawrence and Steve in the DC, good laughs there. :) Thanks guys, you make it worth it.

Emil's thoughts took float @ 12:01 AM

Hmm this qtr has been quite bland. School-wise I expected a much easier work load (compared to last qtr where I had 5 classes) mainly because I didnt expect geography to be much of a challenge to a geography nerd like myself. In fact I am reallllly looking forward to the term paper for that class because we get to make up our own nation and define it in terms of political geography. Unfortunately my other three classes slapped on a heavier workload, mainly Pol 137 and Com 157 which are mentally intensive and reading intensive, respectfully. History is fun too and not that much of a stress, its actually easier w/o Brower teaching it; however, due to this fact I have done virtually no reading for the class. Pol 137 is so dense it hurts but the professor is really excited about it so class is easier to sit through. At least this qtr I have higher expectations of myself, I suppose this is a drastic change from last qtr where all was doom and gloom school wise, at least now I'm back on my feet scholastically. Got an A on my first comp lit paper which made me very excited and got a B on my history midterm which isnt bad considering the amount of reading I've done for that class. My mind is focused back on school (sorta...) and I'm proud to say that I've re-established myself in that area despite all my drawbacks last year. Only draw back is that I'm spending yet another summer here studying. Well that was school...now to turn to social business. My old friendships are all loosely held together. I missed Andie, Nicole, Mike, Lillian, and am missing Staceys birthdays. I had reasons for them but no reason is ever good enough to miss a birthday. Only person thats actually showed up at the MU patio is Aubree but we hardly talk anymore. Things in Newman arent exactly improving, theyre more or less stagnent after what I'd classify as the loss of a friend there due to rumors. Maybe this upcoming retreat will help build new friendships. Things in the apartment arent exactly going swell either. I've been recently having lots of headaches which has made me very irratable thus causing me to get angry at my roommates. The lack of doing chores and taking off shoes irritates me...greatly sometimes. I hate spending weekends cleaning, although I do enjoy the satisfaction of a clean place, but then again they just mess it up later. I am convinced I've lost Ben not only as a roommate but also as a friend. I never see him and his new personal life will only continue to draw him away from old friends, but I do wish him happiness because he deserves it. I think everyone here deserves happiness, although I doubt I'll ever get that back. Laughing and smiling are hard now but I do manage to smile every once in a while. The fact that I'm currently listening to Guster which brings back memories doesnt help my mood. But thats ok, I dont expect much change in that area any time soon and I've learned to be content with that.

Emil's thoughts took float @ 9:12 PM